let all the dreamers wake the nation...

FIC: One of the Boys

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:07:01 GMT

Title: One of the Boys
Fandom: The West Wing
Pairing/Character: CJ Cregg, CJ/Danny
Rating: It's hardly worth rating. Appropriate for all audiences.
Summary: A post-ep of sorts for Institutional Memory. CJ reflects on her time in the White House and the men who have changed her life. Vague references to events throughout the series.
Notes: This ficlet was actually inspired by the title, which was taken from the Dolly Parton musical 9 to 5. CJ's character has always been more complex and more difficult for me to explore, so this was fun. I hope you enjoy it. Written for tenyearsoftww. Endless thanks to agrits, my wonderful beta.

CJ Cregg was not one of those women who couldn’t handle a good thing when it was standing in front of her.

She had almost become one of those women today, though. Now, lying in Danny’s arms, she listens to him breathe and thanks God for Toby’s good sense. She had almost pushed Danny away, but Toby hadn’t let her. And most importantly, Danny hadn’t let her.

Tonight she feels content, she feels safe, for the first time in a long time. She has been more successful than she could have ever hoped to be, but the sacrifices have weighed heavily on her. So many dreams have come true, but she never stopped to consider that after eight long years in the White House, her dreams might have changed. Questions from earlier in the day echo in her mind.

What do you want?

Do you want to work in the White House?

Tomorrow there will be new complications and new doubts, but tonight there is clarity. She wants to work for Frank Hollis. And more than anything, she wants Danny. He’s right, too, though she wouldn’t dare say it aloud. She’s going to need training. She has no idea what she’s doing.

She’s good at her job. She’s always prided herself on being strong and independent. Although it feels strange to admit it, she’s good at being one of the boys, a skill honed after countless frustrating days in a male-dominated workplace. Toby’s words linger; she can’t escape them in the silence.

You’ve spent your whole life working for powerful, demanding men. That’s a lot of testosterone in your world.

Her journey had been no different than any other woman’s, really. She’d had to work hard, harder than the men that surrounded her, to maintain her credibility. But looking back, she realizes how fortunate she’s been to be among these men: the President, Leo, her reporters, and her spin boys.

Maybe you didn’t need to date. You had Josh and Sam and me and 180 reporters flirting with you day in and day out. That’s a lot of positive male attention.

These men, each precious to her in his own way, each attached to treasured memories.

Josh, radiating energy with every step. His mouth had gotten him into more trouble than she could have ever imagined possible. He drove her crazy, but she could never stay mad at him for long; a couple of well-placed threats usually deflated his ego. Under that brilliant political mind and infuriating boyish charm, was one of the kindest and strongest souls she had ever known. He was her brother and she was fiercely protective of him.

Sam, the bright-eyed idealist of the group. CJ often marveled at how Sam’s innate goodness and integrity could be his greatest weakness, as well as being his greatest strength. He had had such faith in the Bartlet Administration; his hope for the nation and the world shone through in his writing. CJ could recall countless times when his words had invigorated her after one of those days that left you wondering why you even wanted to make the world a better place. And though she tried to push that horrible night in Rosslyn from her mind, she would never forget that his selflessness and sharp reflexes had saved her life.

She still fought back tears every time she thought of Leo McGarry. Their relationship had been rocky at times, but she respected and loved him. He had been a mentor to them all. He had been tough on CJ because he was, above all else, devoted to Jed Bartlet. As Press Secretary, CJ had been the face of the administration, and in protecting the President, Leo’s criticism had been harsh and his praise had been rare. Still, CJ never doubted that she had earned his respect and his trust; she had been stunned to discover that Leo had suggested she fill the role of Chief of Staff. She knew her desire to do her job well had as much to do with feeling worthy of Leo’s trust as it did with pleasing the President. Leo’s sacrifices had been great. He had been the rock in so many of their lives.

She had never felt such utmost respect for and devotion to a person as she did to Jed Bartlet. The President had held on to his integrity with his teeth, fighting to create a legacy he could be proud of. It had certainly been the greatest honor of her life to work for this man. He was the smartest man she had ever known. He had seen great triumph and endured unthinkable tragedy, but he always emerged on the other side as the same kind, brilliant man. His vision for public service was a noble one and he had never lost sight of that.

And then there was Toby. Her relationship with Toby was the most rewarding and the most complicated. She had loved him, still loved him, though not in the way she was now prepared to love Danny. Not anymore. He had hired her to do PR for a congressional candidate whose name she couldn’t remember now. His gruff words never scared her, and she knew he respected that, although he’d never say it. She’d fallen in love with him when they were both deliciously sloshed on the losing end of Election Night, completely won over by the idealism under that gruff exterior. He had kissed her soundly that night before whispering, “I love you,” in her ear. Then they were forced to go their separate ways. When she’d seen him next her heart leaped until a beaming redhead had turned to face her and he’d introduced the woman as his fiancé.

Then he appeared in Los Angeles, asking her to join another hopeless campaign. She had, ignoring all rational thought, because he was Toby and she trusted him. Because he was her best friend and he asked her to.

______________

She’s been working too hard over the past couple of years to notice how fractured her family has become. Sam had been drawn away and crushed by Chuck Webb in the California 47th. Josh had shepherded another dark horse candidate to the White House. She’d felt the sting of betrayal when Toby had confessed to the leak, but in the end, holding on to her anger had done nothing but leave her feeling drained and spent. Leo had been mercilessly snatched from them, another devastating loss in a long line of tragedy. One of the draws of the Santos White House, she knew, was the chance to be reunited with Josh, Sam, and Donna. But she knew it could never be the same. Not without Toby, not without Leo, and certainly not without Jed Bartlet.

Knowing sleep will be unlikely tonight, she quietly and carefully untangles herself from the warm fleece blanket and Danny’s arms. She goes into the living room, sits down at her laptop, and ignores the open documents of half-finished memos and the stacks of unread briefing books on the coffee table that are taunting her. Instead she opens a new email and types a message before hitting “send” and going back to bed. She’s equal parts terrified and excited about her new life with Danny, and although it’s time to move on, CJ Cregg will always be just one of the boys.

In a quiet house in LA, an apartment in DC, and at the Transition Offices of President-Elect Matthew Santos, three men receive identical messages.

Joshua, Tobus, and Spanky – my spin boys,

Still nothing without you.

Love always,
CJ

Soundtrack of My Life

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 23:10:36 GMT

As an RA, I'm required to put together six programs a semester for my residents. I have freshman on my hall, so I wanted to do something for my first program that would help the girls get to know each other better. And what could possibly say more about a person than the music she listens to? I had them make CDs for each other and then I swapped them around so everyone could listen to some new music. Then I hosted a short meeting where everyone got to discuss their song choices.

I thought I'd share some of the songs from the playlist I used for my CD. This is by no means a comprehensive list of the music I love. These are just the songs that were speaking to me when I burned the CD.

I Stand - Idina Menzel

I stand for the power to change
I live for the perfect day
I love til it hurts like crazy
I hope for a hero to save me
I stand for the strange and lonely
I believe there's a better place
I don't know if the sky is Heaven
But I pray anyway...

Idina summed up my general philosophy of life in this song. She just put it much more beautifully than I could ever hope to. I'm an optimist. I love life. I don't think this world is hopeless. I believe I was put here for a reason, even if I'm not quite sure what that reason is yet. Even when I'm at my lowest, and believe me, I've been there, I can still focus on the joy I know will return because I dream of, I aim for, perfection. Life is all about the opportunity to brighten someone else’s day.

I Have a Dream – ABBA

If you see the wonder

Of a fairytale

You can take the future

Even if you fail.

Truly, the dreams of a life that matters, a future of unfathomable happiness, the opportunity to learn lessons the hard way, are what make life worth living.

Gold – Linda Eder

You have to live the life you’re given
And never close your eyes
You hold on and stare into the skies

And burn against the cold
For any moment

You might find the gold.

We only get to live once. And no one’s going to chase your dreams for you, so it’s up to you to pursue them even when confronted by seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Dream big; work hard.

I know my voice was just a whisper

But someone must have heard
There were nights the moon above me stirred

And let my life take hold

I rode across that sky

And once I touched the gold.

Making Good – Stephanie J. Block

Today I start my quest

To find my special destiny
Do more than just the best I could.

‘Cause in my gut I know

I can do something great
I don’t know what yet
But when I’m through,

Just you wait…

Most days do not hold profound moments of self-discovery for me. Most of the time, I’m just trying to figure life out as I go. I just keep on keepin’ on, hoping to stumble into something amazing along the way.

Everything is Fine – Meredith Patterson

Looking to my future

Makes me wonder what’s in store

That spark of hope

Is what all dreams are for

This isn’t where I thought I’d be

I dreamed of so much more
Than what I see

In front of me.

So I tell myself
Don’t get off your path

Hold your arms high
Take a deep breath and say

Everything is fine
Just relax your mind

Go ahead and cry

But just know, in time

Everything’s gonna work out fine

This is my “Laura, you need to chill out and not try to plan your entire life in one day (and then decide it’s not going anywhere)” mantra.

Better Get to Livin’ – Dolly Parton

Better get to livin’, givin’

Don’t forget to throw in a little forgivin’

And love along the way…

Doesn’t it take a lot more energy to be miserable and hold grudges against people than it does to be happy and enjoy life? I say yes.

I’m a Survivor – Reba McEntire

I was born three months too early

The doctor gave me thirty days

But I must’ve had my mama’s will

And God’s amazing grace…

The baby girl without a chance

A victim of circumstance

The one who ought to give up

But she’s just too hard –headed

With gentle hands

And the heart of a fighter

I’m a survivor

I was, in fact, born prematurely. Two and a half months. And if I don’t get my strength from my mom, I don’t know where I get it. She is the most amazing person I know.

Let the River Run – Carly Simon

Let the river run

Let all the dreamers

Wake the nation

Come, the new Jerusalem

We, the great and small

Stand on a star

And place a trail of desire

Through the darkening dawn

These lyrics are brilliant. I’m going to let them speak for themselves.

Not Ready to Make Nice – Dixie Chicks

Made my bed

And I sleep like a baby

With no regrets

And I don’t mind saying

It’s a sad, sad story

When a mother’ll teach her daughter

That she ought to hate a perfect stranger

Should we ever have to apologize for standing up for the things we really believe in?

Sing – Kristin Chenoweth

Sing

Sing a song

Make it simple

To last your whole life long

Don’t worry that it’s not good enough

For anyone else to hear

Just sing

Sing a song

Songs bring joy. Music brings joy. Sing, make music, and BE HAPPY! Wasn’t that a riveting analysis?

Say It Somehow – Kelli O’Hara and Matthew Morrison (from The Light in the Piazza)

Why don’t you trace it on my hand?

Or make a song, do anything

Say it somehow, I will understand

I know the sound of touch me

I think I hear the sound of wrap your arms around me

I think this song is particularly intriguing to me because I’m a foreign language major. But, how wonderful is to think of all the beautiful things that make love a universal language?

Thank You for the Music – ABBA

And I’ve often wondered

How did it all start?

Who found out that nothin’

Can capture our hearts

Like a melody can

Well, whoever it was

I’m a fan

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m a big fan of music in general.

Legacy – Nichole Nordeman

I won’t lie

It feels all right to see your name in lights

We all need an ‘atta boy or ‘atta girl

But in the end

I’d like to hang my hat on more besides

The temporary trappings of this world

I wanna leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love?

Did I point to Your love

To make a mark on things

I wanna leave an offering

Child of mercy and grace

Who blessed Your name

Unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy

I don’t think this one needs an explanation.

Remember Me

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:27:35 GMT

“When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.

For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I'm feeling sad, it's my consolation. When I'm feeling happy, it's part of why I feel that way.

If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget, part of who I am will be gone. 'Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom,' the good thief said from his cross (Luke 23:42). There are perhaps no more human words in all of Scripture, no prayer we can pray so well."

-Frederick Buechner

If you are reading this, you must remember me in some way. So, thank you. Thank you for being a part of my life. I love you.

HAPPINESS is...

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 20:32:53 GMT

I stole this idea. BUT, I will give her credit. Thanks for this, Alex! (labellefolie).

"Tell me me something that makes you happy. I'm serious. Comment with a picture, a lyric, a quote, a bit of news, something you did that's made you smile during the past week. Big or small, trivial or not, real-life or fandom-related ― I want to hear about it. Then pass it on."

A Farewell to 9 to 5: The Musical

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 04:22:38 GMT

EDIT: I just re-read the blog I wrote on 9 to 5 shortly after I returned from NY. Reliving that excitement was bittersweet. Maybe this will further explain just what the show meant to me. Click here.

For the past couple of weeks I've been trying to put my finger on the reason I've been so horribly devastated (perhaps unreasonably so) about 9 to 5: The Musical's premature ending. And I think I just might have figured it out.

You're going to laugh. You really are. I was woken abrubtly at 3:15 this morning because one of my residents had locked herself out of her room. In some chilvarous attempt to not disturb the RA on duty, I suppose, she decided to come knocking on my door. So, after sleepily retrieving the master key and unlocking her door, I stumbled back to bed. College, as many of you know, does horrendous things to your sleep patterns. I mean, college students exist in another time zone of late nights and (sometimes) early mornings that can require three cups of coffee just so you can make it to lunch time. But, I digress. The point is that I did not fall back to sleep easily. And in that haze between sleep and consciousness the thought flitted into my head that it was finally September 6th and that 9 to 5 was about to see its final curtain. Cue: Epiphany.

I realized that I'd been upset for one very simple reason. The thoughts behind the reason were complex, but the reason itself was simple enough. We were all about to say goodbye to a show that had been a very special part of my life for the last year. So many emotions--crazy and wonderful emotions--are tied to this show.

Last summer there were the two sentence blurbs on the internet about the new Dolly Parton musical coming to Broadway. Dolly Parton writing a musical? What could be more fun, right? And then, Lord help me, the cast was announced. The excitement levels went THROUGH THE ROOF. After following the news of the LA tryouts came the time to buy tickets for the Broadway production. I sat huddled in front of my computer in my tiny apartment in France, waiting on that December evening for the tickets to switch over from the AmEx exclusive pre-sale to general sales. And then there was the excitement that always builds when waiting a long time for a trip, and the utter joy of seeing the show (JANNEY, 30 feet in front of me!!!) and the incredible experience at the stage door (JANNEY, SJB, MEGAN, talking to me and taking pictures). It's been such a strong memory for me all summer. Those emotions + the injustice that such a great show had to close so soon + the disappointment that I couldn't go to New York for closing weekend...AND we've hit the trifecta, ladies and gentleman.

Is it an overzealous and slightly crazy reaction to the whole situation? Probably. But I do everything big and I do it passionately. It's just the way I'm wired.

So, 9 to 5: I'm grateful for the memories and I'm sad to see you go. To the three fabulous leading ladies (and everyone else involved in this show): I will always love you.

I'm gonna shine like the sun
When these clouds roll away from my door...

...When the crying's all done
Well, I'm gonna shine like the sun

A Special Place for Those Who Feel Left Out (Part 2)

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 03:07:13 GMT

This is a companion piece to the first "A Special Place for Those Who Feel Left Out", which can be read here.

________________________

I’m officially on a crusade.

There are moments that are awful, that hurt so much that it feels like you were slammed in the chest hard enough to knock the breath out of you and send your heart plummeting into your stomach. There are those memories you desperately try to push from your mind; a good psychologist—and probably a bad one, too—would call it repression.

It was the stories of the suicides of two young children, pushed over the edge by bullying, that pulled one memory from the recesses of my mind. When I was in fourth grade I was pushed down on a playground and drug around because I had bad balance. It’s a horrifyingly vivid memory; I can close my eyes and remember exactly how I felt in those few moments 11 years ago. Then, I was humiliated and traumatized. Now, I’m almost grateful. I was mad as hell about it and that gave me a spirit to fight. It wasn’t a spirit of revenge. (We don’t get ringside seats for those moments that even the score for the people that cause us pain, nor should we.) No, as I got older, it made me want to fight to make sure that never happened to a kid again.

Children with physical disabilities are so much more special than they’ll ever realize. They’re often the brightest kids, with imaginations and creative abilities that would take your breath away. Now, I wasn’t that impressive as a kid, but I know not getting to play sports or dance made my imagination explode. It made me dream of the day that I would be special and matter to someone. I could make up stories and play them for hours and I loved to write. I still love to write. These children, despite reassurances from their parents, grow up thinking they’re just a little too different. In reality, they’re completely unaware that they’re slowly unlocking momentous potential.

Do you know what the most beautiful part of this whole thing is? A lot of these kids are the happiest ones you’ll ever meet. They’re smart enough to count their blessings and they’re wonderfully sensitive and empathetic towards others. Because they grapple daily with the fact that “life’s not fair,” they’re able to relate to other injustices that are so much bigger than their little worlds.

At their core, these kids want something simple: They want to feel normal and they want to feel special. That yearning only intensifies with the onset of puberty (as if teenagers don’t have enough insecurities to deal with). At those times that the disability is impossible to hide, they exude an incredible strength. Why? Because they have no choice. Because we have no choice. Nobody gets to say that we don’t do the things that everyone else does. No one gets to say, “You can’t.”

If I had unlimited resources, if I was much more important and had much more influence than I do, I would give these kids, and especially these teenagers, a life-changing moment. Would they choose a chance to meet someone they admire? Would they choose to do something they thought was impossible? I would give them that moment to feel important. They would get a chance to feel special not because of their disability, but because someone recognized that they possess gifts much greater than they ever realized.

I’m 20-years-old and a stare that lasts a little too long when people watch me walk is still enough to make me wilt a little inside. We all just want to be seen for ourselves. My potential is not extraordinary, but I’ve felt everything and I want something to change. That’s all any of us can hope for—to leave the world just a little bit better than we found it. How are you changing the world?

A Special Place for Those Who Feel Left Out

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 03:40:16 GMT

I’ve been debating with myself on and off for the last few weeks about writing on this particular subject. I’ve decided to go ahead because I think it’s important and because I think I’ll feel better once I express my thoughts in a (somewhat) articulate manner.

Everyone knows that disabilities are physical or cognitive. Sometimes they’re a little of both. Everyone knows that they can be mild or severe impairments, or fall anywhere in between. Well, I’m going to write on behalf of people (especially children) who fall into the category of having a minor physical disability because I think we’ve been given a unique “burden” and a unique strength.

It’s easy to fall into pity mode when you hear the word “disability.” Most people want to be helpful and sensitive. You know what? There’s nothing wrong with that. Truly. But I also think it’s easy to, at first glance, focus on the limitation rather than on the individual strengths of a person.

I’m not naïve or jaded enough to think that this is true of everyone. I have been extremely lucky in my life to have had some amazing people look past cerebral palsy and realize that I want to be unstoppable when doing pretty much anything. But, I recently had an experience that stopped me in my tracks and prompted this crazy train of thought. I was told, in a rather condescending manner, that I was hired for a job because kids need to see that “everyone is different.” Not because I was intelligent or because I had something to offer the kids I was working with. My first reaction was humiliation. Then came the anger and indignation, and I allowed myself to be angry about it for awhile. Then, I decided that I was going to prove myself, just like I’ve tried to do my entire life. Sadly, I’ve gotten frustrated because this person is set in her ways. She’s going to think what she’s going to think, and nothing I do is going to change her mind. There’s nothing left to do but just do my job. I’m slowly coming to accept that.

I hear the word “strength” sometimes when people get to know me. The funny thing is, I think I’ve gotten weaker as I’ve gotten older, but I try everyday to hold on to that strength with everything I have. Children who have minor physical limitations and absolutely no cognitive impairment deal with different kinds of pain and possess a special outlook on life. Children are resilient. We see it and hear about it all the time. These children are growing up and they have more self-awareness than you’d think possible for a child. It’s hard to know that you have special talents just like everyone else, but you can’t be the normal kid because you’re just a little bit different. Sometimes you have to sit out during games at recess, sometimes you wish you could go to dance class or play baseball like all of your friends, and sometimes you’re humiliated when kids throw you off balance just to be mean.

We all know the Eleanor Roosevelt quote: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I get a little closer to fully understanding that every single day. These children possess true strength, and many of them have much more than I could ever hope for. It’s because we believe that after all of the pain and the “being different” that there’s something truly wonderful in store for our lives.

I’ve struggled with putting these thoughts into words because I’ve hated talking about CP for most of my life. If I didn’t talk about it, if I didn’t think about it, then no one could pin being “the kid with CP” on me. It’s not who I am. I’m going to be relentless when I need to be.

Do you know a kid like the ones I’ve been talking about? My request is that you look for ways to help them feel like every other kid. Is there a simple dance class he/she could join? Is there a coach who’s willing to spend some one-on-one time so he/she can play sports? And finally, simply look for the amazing talents that make every kid special.

“God has a special place for those who feel left out.” -Max Lucado, The Crippled Lamb

"Shine Like the Sun" - NYC Part 2 - 9 to 5: The Musical

Fri, 22 May 2009 05:17:07 GMT

Alrighty!

For those of you who have been waiting anxiously for this next installment (yeah, right), my apologies. I’ve had a cold for the last few days and decided to be absolutely worthless yesterday.

Before I continue, I wanted to mention that I’m thrilled that all the money from the Glitter Meet n Greet with Kristin is going to the 3 Angels Memorial Fund for ACD Research, a cause that has really moved me to act. Over $2000 was raised. Well done, Glitterites. You can learn more about 3 Angels and alveolar capillary dysplasia (ACD) at http://www.3angelsfund.org.

I will now hop down off my soapbox and give you some more of the story.

May 12 (cont.) – 9 to 5: The Musical
So, we’ll start post-Cheno amazingness. Jennifer and I sat down in a little courtyard with some picnic tables a short distance from the theater. I called my mom and promptly spazzed out (and continued spazzing for the next 10 minutes or so). I think I was on an adrenaline rush during the actual event because afterwards I was really emotional. An afternoon anticipated for so long had come and gone; there’s a small let down after excitement like that. But I couldn’t focus on that for too long because pretty soon it was time to grab some dinner and head over to the Marquis Theatre for 9 to 5.

I don’t want to downplay meeting Kristin Chenoweth one bit because it was one of the best moments of my life, but it all happened by chance. I found out about the City Center Gala a couple of months before the trip and managed to snag tickets for the Meet n Greet only a couple of weeks in advance. I have no doubt we were meant to be there for that. I tell you this to underline this next part. 9 to 5 tickets went on sale at the beginning of December and I bought them within the first hour that they were available. I was staked out at my computer in France to get these tickets. That’s how excited I was about this new musical. And, as you can imagine, my excitement levels about seeing the show have been through the roof for months.

So, we stood outside the box office entrance for a little while until a nice man finally told us we had to go into the Marriott to get to the theater. And let me just take this opportunity to say that the Marriott has the coolest glass elevators ever, but we didn’t ride in them. We finally got to where we were supposed to be and through the glass doors I could see posters of all the shows that have played there. [For example, Annie Get Your Gun (with Bernadette Peters) and Victor/Victoria (with Julie Andrews! AHHHH).] Not really a defining moment of the trip, but still very cool. When the doors opened, Jennifer and I stopped to get the necessary memorabilia (t-shirts and posters) and then made our way to our seats. And I would just like to say that I booked perfect seats. We were smack dab center stage about 10 or 12 rows back. It was awesome! The curtain for the show is really cool, too. It’s made out of telephone cords (or look-alikes).

I’m going to give a very vague review of the show. I certainly don’t want to ruin it for anyone who wants to go see it. On that note, GO SEE THIS SHOW! The room was flooded with energy as soon as those first notes came from the pit. And I was grinning from ear to ear. That smile only got bigger as soon as Allison Janney made her entrance! If you think the woman is entrancing on screen, well, it’s nothing compared to a live performance. It’s hard to stop watching her and pay attention to the other stuff that’s going on. But she’s well-matched with the ridiculously talented Stephanie J. Block and Megan Hilty. And Marc Kudisch is deliciously sexist as Mr. Hart. Wow, never thought I’d say something like that. All of my fellow feminist, Hillary Clinton-loving friends are going to disown me.

Now, let me address the question in everyone’s mind. Allison Janney singing? Really? She doesn’t have the voice of a trained musical theater actress, but she’s holding her own against Megan and Stephanie who have both been blessed with golden voices. That’s no small accomplishment in my book. She sounds pretty darn good. And she brings that same loveable quality to Violet that she brings to every character. I’ve never been able to put my finger on where that charisma comes from exactly, but she makes you fall in love with Violet the same way you fell in love with CJ Cregg, or the stepmom in Juno, or even the hilarious Peach in Finding Nemo. The woman is brilliant.

Megan Hilty was the perfect choice for Doralee. She kept me laughing the whole show. During her first lines Jennifer and I were whispering, “Oh my gosh, she sounds exactly like Dolly!” Her southern accent was pitch-perfect. Loved it. And after that initial moment I stopped thinking about Dolly as Doralee. Megan has successfully made the character her own.

I need to sit here with my jaw on the floor for a few minutes just thinking about Stephanie J. Block. Holy moly, she’s incredible! It’s hard to think of a moment I enjoyed more than “Get Out and Stay Out”, the 11 o’clock number in the show that is Stephanie’s solo. Sure, there are moments I probably enjoyed just as much as that one (like Allison and Megan’s respective big numbers), but not more. It’s hard to describe, but Stephanie brings a sweet and feisty innocence to Judy.

Marc Kudisch. Oh, Marc Kudisch. He plays Mr. Hart so well. It’s disgusting and it’s degrading, but it’s hilarious because you know he’s gonna get it at the end. If you go see the show, please enjoy his final costume and think of me because I laughed for ages.

There are so many other things about this show worth mentioning. Kathy Fitzgerald is wonderful as Roz and her number about Mr. Hart is one of the funniest moments of the whole show. She makes a very unlikeable character likeable. The whole ensemble is just phenomenal. Every single person in this show is working hard and having fun and it shows. It's joyous and I felt like I knew them. Not Violet, Judy and Doralee, but Allison, Stephanie and Megan. It's a special feeling. The energy levels sustained throughout the entire show are quite impressive. They have to be exhausted, but I’m grateful for each and every one of them.

And we finally come to Ms. Dolly Parton. The woman’s smarter than anything and has more talent than you can shake a stick at. (Dolly brings out the true Georgian in me!) Don’t shy away from this show because you think it’s going to be all country music. It’s not. Each song has a completely different style and they fit the characters perfectly. She’s a wonder, that’s for sure. I’m pretty sure she can do anything.

After the curtain call, Jennifer and I hauled ass to stage door. I’m pretty sure a woman behind me was really unhappy when I cut her off on the escalator. But that’s the glory of being in New York City and never seeing someone again. HA! It was a good thing we hurried, too. Stephanie came out really quickly. She was really sweet and signed our posters and took pictures with us. I was really excited and jumped the gun on asking for pictures when she hadn’t even signed my poster yet. I’m a dweeb, but she was still awesome. I’m a new big Stephanie J. Block fan! What is it that I’m supposed to call myself now? A Blockhead?

Then we stood there for awhile. Several ensemble members came out and I was really happy to get them to sign the poster ‘cause they were really good. (Yeah, I know I’ve already said that.) And then Megan came out hoisting a very large trunk/case of something. I don’t know what it was, but the stage door guy kindly took it off her hands so she could sign stuff and take pictures. And I have to tell you that Megan Hilty is pretty much the sweetest person ever. I’d also gotten to meet her a few years ago when I saw her in Wicked and she’s just so warm and friendly at stage door. So, so fantastic. I love her.

I had read an interview with Allison about a week before we left that said she loved that everyone waited at stage door, but it was a really new and overwhelming experience for her. So, sometimes she didn’t come out stage door. I prayed and prayed and prayed that this would not be a night she decided to slip out another way. So I was ecstatic when she appeared. Marc Kudisch came out right after her, but he was moving more quickly. He got to us and signed the poster and took a picture with Jennifer, but I shamefully admit that I passed on the picture because Allison had made her way to the person next to us at that point and I didn’t want her to skip us! I’m sorry, Marc! I still think you’re fabulous!

A moment later I was having another surreal, out-of-body experience. Seriously, that’s almost too much happiness for a girl to handle in the span of just a few hours. Allison Janney was standing in front of me. AHHH! I’m going to be a geeky AJ fan for a minute, okay? I noticed a couple of things. First, it’s been well-established that she’s very tall and I’m very short, but I never felt like she was towering over me or anything. Second, she was very soft-spoken. I always try to separate an actor from a character in these situations, but I was still surprised. I mean, she’s known for roles like CJ Cregg and now Violet Newstead. These are smart, outspoken, kick-ass women. It was just interesting to me. She was probably overwhelmed by the number of people waiting. I was not the least bit disappointed, though. When you meet people you’ve loved and admired for so long there is always a fear that the illusion is going to be shattered. But Allison is just so lovely and gracious. I try very hard to be respectful at stage door and not be a crazy, scary, squealing fangirl. I am one, but I try not to act like it. There were people there crowding around her and following her to her car that was waiting at the curb, but I just can’t do stuff like that. For me, part of admiring her is respecting her enough to not invade her space, to respect her privacy and the fact that she must certainly be exhausted. That goes for anyone. Allison Janney won’t remember me from Adam, but I hope that, in that one brief moment, I made a good impression. She probably won’t remember, but it was important for me to get to congratulate her on her Tony nomination. (Her “Thank you” when I said that was so genuine!) I know she had to be exhausted, they all did, but she took time to make some incredible memories for me. I couldn’t be any more grateful for that.

with Allison Janney

with Stephanie J. Block

with Megan Hilty

"Anything Can Happen If You Let It" - New York City (Part 1)

Wed, 20 May 2009 04:59:40 GMT

Hello, everyone!

K, I don't think anyone reads this anymore. But this entry is mostly for me anyway, so I can remember a truly marvelous week. This is a (probably very long) recap of my week in NYC (May 11-15, 2009).

NOTE: This is just Part 1. The whole thing is going to be really long. Read only if you really care. LOL. There is a picture and a video at the bottom.

May 11
Woke up at 5am. I got ready, threw some last minute things in the suitcase, and then headed to pick up Jennifer. We had some yummy Chick-Fil-A (I needed that last sweet tea fix to get me through the week), and then took the 7.30 Groome to the Atlanta airport. Jen and I chatted endlessly the whole way because we were so excited, and then we had a random conversation with a man we didn’t know on the van. Anyway, this will get excruciatingly long if I recount every second. We finally arrived at LaGuardia and by the time we got off the plane and went to the bathroom our bags were already on the carousel. Sweet.

Every person/tourist needs to do one really stupid thing in New York, right? A guy asked us if we needed a taxi and then led us across several parking lots where we discovered it was actually a town car. Let’s just say we got gypped. We chilled for a few and changed clothes for the Kristin Chenoweth Gala at City Center when we finally got to the hotel. Let me say that Comfort Inn Midtown is a nice place to stay. Pretty reasonably priced and a perfect location, especially if you’re there for theater (and that’s exactly what Jennifer and I were there for).

Alrighty, let’s get on to the good stuff. 90 minutes of heaven on earth. We got to City Center and were told to wait in line outside. And then one of the most hilarious moments of the entire trip happened. A woman came up waving her ticket. The guy politely told her she had to wait in line, so she stormed off. “I’ll just talk to somebody else!” You had to be there, but it was classic. I barely held my cackle in until she was out of earshot. People who think they’re entitled just amaze me.

Finally, they let us in. Jennifer and I hiked up about a trillion stairs to the rear gallery. (I’m really out of shape.) We got to our seats and could barely see the stage. Seriously, I couldn’t see anything in front of the curtain. These seats were in the rafters. Thankfully, Kristin stood behind the curtain line during the concert. The concert started and they had to give away some award for something or other. I wasn’t really listening. Awful, right? I was waiting really impatiently for Kristin to get on that stage and they were taking their sweet time. I know Bill Moyers and his wife were presenting the award, but that’s all I can tell you.

I was really excited that I could actually see her when Kristin finally made her entrance. Some of the concert is a blur just because of pure excitement, but I will always remember exactly how I was feeling. I’ve listened to Kristin’s CDs over and over and over again during the past few years, but nothing can compare to hearing that soaring voice live. Everything I was feeling is corny and cliché, but it’s so true. Her voice is pure and magical and one of the most beautiful sounds that God put on this earth. Her repertoire was really difficult, making it all the more impressive.

Some of the stuff she sang:

· The Doll’s Song (she told us the next day that it’s from something called “The Tales of Hoffman”)

· If

· Daddy

· Till There Was You

· Ice Cream

· A wonderful, hilarious “medley” with Douglas Sills

· The Girl in 14G

· Goin ‘ to the Dance With You

I was just about in tears during “Till There Was You”. Something about it really struck home; it was just so simply beautiful. She did “Glitter and Be Gay” for one of her encores and I thought I was going to stroke. There are not words to describe those high notes or hearing that song live. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. That concert will forever remain a vivid, beautiful memory. I’ve loved listening to that voice for so long. I’m the luckiest.

Also, Hugh Jackman was in the audience, so I’ve also got that going for me. Jennifer and I left the concert walking on air.

May 12
Okay, May 12, 2009 goes in the books as one of the greatest days of my life. Maybe the greatest day of my life so far and I’m sure it’ll still rank way up there in the years to come. This, my friends, is the day I met two fantastic women that I’ve admired and loved for so long.

I think Jennifer and I both woke up pretty happy because of the night before. Jennifer’s phone sang “Popular” at us at 8am, so she hit the snooze. I rolled over and fully intended to go back to sleep, but my heart was already pounding out of my chest just thinking about the day ahead.

We spent the morning at Toys-R-Us in Times Square, embracing our lost childhoods. :-P They have every toy imaginable in there. We even had a fantastic time riding the ferris wheel in the store. We got to ride in the Toy Story car. We’re cool. Actually, it was more fun than I care to admit.

And then it was time to head to the Duffy Theater at the Snapple Theater Center for the Glitter 5^th Anniversary Meet n Greet with Kristin Chenoweth. For anyone who doesn’t know, Glitter is Kristin Chenoweth’s fan club and the G-Staff put together an intimate Q&A session/signing table exclusively for Glitter members. The G-Staff is utterly amazing. There were only around 100 people there. Jennifer and I got seats in the second row and it was a TINY theater, so we were sitting really close to Kristin during the Q&A. People asked some really interesting questions. Someone asked her to sing a little bit of “Taylor, the Latte Boy”. She did and it was magical, even though she said it would sound like crap. Yeah, right, KC. I wish I could hang on to every second of the time she was talking, but my excitement and my utter disbelief that I was so close to her has blurred some of it. The lingering memory is just a feeling of true euphoria. I mean that. She’s everything I ever thought she would be in person. She’s kind, funny, genuine, beautiful, and really thankful for her fans. I waited 4.5 years to meet her and the experience was more than I ever dreamed of.

After the Q&A was the signing table. Everyone was allowed one photo and one autograph. I was really nervous as we got in line, but I was determined to act like an intelligent human being in front of Kristin. And here comes the truly amazing moment of the day. (Back story: Kristin Chenoweth LOVES Chick-Fil-A. Loves it. And Jennifer works at Chick-Fil-A. How convenient!) Jennifer got a whole bunch of Chick-Fil-A goodies to take to Kristin. So, as we approached the table, I hung back to catch Kristin’s reaction on video as Jennifer presented Kristin with her Chick-Fil-A travel mug, cow, PEZ dispenser, coupons, and nametag. Kristin freaked out. Basically, Jennifer is Kristin’s new BFF. So, that was really neat. Really,really unforgettable.

And then… Cue drumroll, please. It was my turn. My nerves completely disappeared because I realized something. Kristin has been blessed with an incredible talent, but she’s so…normal. You look at her and she completely puts you at ease. I remember her saying, “Okay, Miss Laura…” as she reached for my book and asking me if I was from Georgia and liked Chick-Fil-A, too, but other than that I can’t remember what was said. But I realized the words weren’t important. I was standing in the presence of someone I’ve loved and respected, who has been a role model for me as a Christian woman in a tough entertainment industry. It was a fantastic moment and I wish I had been able to convey some of what I was feeling to her, but everything was moving really quickly. She’s an amazing woman. She took time with every single person there.

I could be teased endlessly for all this, but I don’t even care.

The funny thing is, all this Kristin stuff just sort of happened. It was meant to be. We just happened to be in the city when all this amazing stuff was going on. The real reason we planned the trip, 9 to 5: The Musical, is coming up next.

To be continued…

VIDEO: Kristin Chenoweth on Chick-Fil-A

What a week!

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:23:18 GMT

This has been quite a week. I'd like to acknowledge two lives that were prematurely ended this week: Ron Silver and Natasha Richardson.

It's amazing how people you don't know can reach you in such powerful ways just because you've spent time curled up on the couch or in a dark movie theater watching their work.

To Ron Silver: Thank you for all you gave on-screen, especially for that wonderful character Bruno Gianelli. Rest in peace. You are greatly missed. Here's a perfect example of his wonderful work. The words were crafted by the wonderful Aaron Sorkin, but Ron's deliverly is unforgettable. I can hear these words in my head without watching the clip, but here it is for people who'd like to see it.

And to Natasha Richardson: Your story ended tragically and much, much too soon. I loved your work in The Parent Trap and Evening and Cabaret. My heart breaks for your family: Your mother, your sister, your husband, and especially for your sons, who are now without their mother. Rest in peace. My prayers are with everyone grieving your loss.

And to some members of the press: I am disgusted. Let Natasha's family grieve privately. The retrospectives on Natasha's life are lovely, and we all want to know what's going on, but there's no need to camp outside of her apartment and follow her husband and mother around. That's all.

Epic Oscar Review 2009

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 02:20:11 GMT

Disclaimer: I've inevitably forgotten something amazing about last night that I wanted to mention. As people remind me in comments about things, I'll probably kick myself and then maybe add to this.

It has been well established (I think) that I love award shows. I don't entirely understand why, but it probably stems from my creative side and seeing all of these incredible, brilliant, ridiculously talented people in one place.

Last night was Oscar night, which meant I was tucked away in my dorm room at 8:00 ready to enjoy myself. I was not disappointed. Overall, it was probably the most enjoyable Oscar night as a whole.

The opening number was fantastic. Hugh Jackman may not be the most amazing stage performer that's ever lived, but the man has done some serious Broadway and knows how to put on a show. Let's give him some credit. I had heard the rumors that Anne Hathaway was joining him for the opening and was thrilled to see that it actually happened. Anne isn't an actress that I spend a great deal of time gushing over, but she is one of the most talented women out there. I'll talk more about her when I get to Best Actress. For now, let me just mention that I loved her dress. She looked fantastic. She is definitely one of those classic beauties.

These thoughts are probably not going to be in chronological order because my memory isn't that perfect, but I'll do my best. I do know that the first award of the night was for Best Supporting Actress, and I was so moved by the format they chose this year for the acting honors. Wow. I can only imagine sitting in that audience as a nominee and hearing someone I've admired praise my performance. I was crying for the nominees. Of the acting categories, this is the only one that disappointed me. Having seen neither Vicky Cristina Barcelona nor really any of Penélope Cruz's other work, I can't really speak about her talent. However, Viola Davis is a powerhouse that came out of nowhere and matched every bit of the strength that Meryl Streep has on screen. She is nothing short of phenomenal in Doubt, and it saddens me that she was shut out this awards season. I really think that Oscar should have been hers.

I decided pretty quickly last night that I want to be Dustin Lance Black's friend. (He wrote the screenplay for Milk.) In my opinion, his speech was the best of the night. It was so gracious and his love for his work was so apparent. It is when writers develop that deep love for their subjects that amazing material is born. "You are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value...and very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights across this great nation of ours." There were tears.

There was slight disappointment that John Patrick Shanley lost Best Adapted Screenplay. Slumdog Millionaire is apparently amazing and, just judging by the graciousness and humility of its creators, it deserves every bit of success it earned last night. But, I still think Doubt is amazing.

Now, let's talk about the part that made me squeal and grin and act like a fangirl. The musical is back!

"Something truly remarkable happened this year, something we thought would never happen in our lifetime. Yes, change has finally come. Mamma Mia has sold more tickets in the UK than Titanic."

And to Meryl Streep: "I'm looking forward to Doubt: The Musical. Singing and nuns--it's worked before--that's all I'm saying."

The musical number itself was great. Nice job Hugh Jackman. I'm usually not a Beyonce fan, but I can't deny she did a great job. And seeing Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper almost canceled out the horror of anyone from High School Musical making it to the Oscar stage in any capacity. So, this was probably my second favorite moment of the evening.

Moving on to the tearjerker that was the Best Supporting Actor category. Heath Ledger's Joker was remarkable and I'm glad his family (especially his daughter) can have this one special award to help them remember his legacy. Watching his parents and sister accept the Oscar was beautiful.

I didn't pay very close attention to all of the technical/art awards because they're not as fascinating to me, but it seemed pretty Slumdog Millionaire and Benjamin Button-dominated, with a little bit of The Duchess and The Dark Knight mixed in for good measure.

Congratulations to all of the people involved with Slumdog Millionaire. I think it was a well deserved Best Picture win. The score and songs from the film sounded great, so I'm glad the composer took those categories as well.

I only know about one of the movies nominated for Best Foreign Film, but you should check out Entre les murs. (I think the English translation last night was The Class.)

I'm usually not overly impressed by Sean Penn, but I think the Best Actor Oscar was rightfully his. He managed to make some points in his speech and be gracious at the same time; he usually has trouble striking a balance. So, well done. Milk deserves the recognition. And AWWWW, Buttercup (aka Robin Wright Penn) was crying. Also, if anyone wants to explain Mickey Rourke's "comback" to me, that would be great. I know nothing about him.

ANNNNNND....(drumroll, please)....

We finally come to my very favorite Oscar category: Best Actress. This has been an angsty category for me this year. I was so torn between Kate Winslet and Meryl Streep. On the one hand, this was Kate Winslet's sixth nomination (and every single one of her nominations has been for truly remarkable work). On the other hand, Meryl Streep is the Oscar goddess. She has won two Oscars (one for Best Supporting Actress in 1979 for Kramer vs. Kramer, the other for Best Actress is 1983 for Sophie's Choice). However, even with her lauded 15 nominations, she has lost 13 times, the last time she won being when she was pregnant with her 25-year-old daughter. In addition to all that, her work in Doubt was remarkable, even by Meryl Streep standards.

In the end, I'm ecstatic that Kate Winslet won. She is truly incredible and her Oscar was long overdue. How can you not be touched by her graciousness (that's a word I've used a lot) and beauty? Meryl still received her due praise throughout the show, and it's obvious she commands great respect from the Academy.

Let me backtrack a little to say that the tributes to the nominees were really touching. I thought Anne Hathaway was going to lose it when Shirley MacLaine was talking about her. Anne has truly become an epitome of grace, talent and genuine humility. I'm pretty certain she'll have her day on that Oscar stage.

Congratulations to all the winners (and nominees) and thanks to all who worked to make the awards one fabulous show!!

Ekaterina Gordeeva - GOLD

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 05:36:31 GMT

Ekaterina Gordeeva - GOLD - Laura

A tribute to the champion figure skater Ekaterina Gordeeva--a woman possessing unbelievable strength and grace.

This video attempts to tell the story of her life with Sergei Grinkov and with Ilia Kulik. She has survived unspeakable tragedy and made a joyous life for herself again. Her resilience is inspiring.

I hope you enjoy it. I apologize for the poorer quality when it's blown up. If YouTube hadn't blocked the audio, that size would've kept the quality almost perfect. So, bear with me.

Blagojevich Booted

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:37:48 GMT

Rod Blagojevich got unanimously impeached. HAHAHA. That really makes me laugh, especially when he so adamantly claimed he had done nothing wrong and that he would be exonerated. Yeah, they have you on tape, dude. That's hard to argue with.

Today I (...)

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 04:10:41 GMT

When I went to my Ethics class on gender roles in the Bible this afternoon (just after the Inauguration), my professor gave us a little on-the-spot assignment. She gave us the two words "Today I..." and told us to just start writing. After we did, she said we needed to write down what today meant to us, and how we felt, so that we could remember it in years to come. I thought it was a brilliant idea. She said we needed not only to remember excitement, but other feelings of the day, too: trepidation, stress about classes, if we were tired, etc. I agree. I thought I would share mine. Anyone else is free to do the same.

Today I feel a great sense of excitement, pride and hope, but also a small sense of trepidation. As President Obama said in his Inaugural Address, not only does a new hope await this country, but we are also facing a great responsibility--for both the Obama administration and the American people. That responsibility feels daunting even in light of the excitement.

On the other hand, I feel great pride in being able to witness this day, to be able to say that I was allowed to vote for the first time in this Presidential election, to be partly responsible for putting President Obama in office. I look forward to what is coming for our country over these next few years.

As I reflect on the past year, I'm also faced with a sense of disappointment today. You may admonish me for feelings of "bitterness", but this is an important part of the way I feel on the day we inaugurated a new president. I am disappointed that it wasn't Hillary Clinton on that dais today, taking the oath of office. I'm looking toward a future I think will be filled with wonderful changes because of the Obama administration, and I think he far outshines the still honorable John McCain, but I am saddened that such an extraordinary woman lost this chance at the presidency. I cannot imagine a more qualified, honorable person to become this nation's first female president, and yet she lost. Our new president has given her a chance to do something magnificent for this country, yet she still faces opposition that I will never understand, on a day that is supposed to be one of celebration. An ornery senator is holding up her confirmation to be instated as Secretary of State. Sexism still permeates our society, and while I do not think that everyone who opposed Hillary Clinton or her views is sexist, this is still something we must be mindful of, especially as we hail such great change in our country.

Next, despite my issues with his administration over the past 8 years, I wish President Bush a restful retirement. Anyone who has endured the pressure cooker of the Oval Office deserves it. I hope he had a good stiff drink and a nice long nap this afternoon.

And on a personal note, I'm dealing with a transition back into the rigors of my class work at my regular university after a semester in Avignon, France. Friendships are in need of recultivation, new professors need to get acquainted with my determination and hard work, etc. The first couple of weeks of a new semester are always difficult, and today has been one of personal discouragement even as I have enjoyed watching the Inauguration festivities.

Considering all of this, I am eager to see what the next four to eight years will bring, both for me personally and for the United States under Barack Obama's leadership. Good luck and godspeed, Mr. President.

Other Notables of the Day
-Even our leaders flub. No big deal on the oath, they made it in the end. :) I think they were both probably nervous.
-Aretha Franklin's hat! I have to get me one of those. ;)
-Itzhak Perlman/Yo Yo Ma Performance *grin*
-Malia and Sasha Obama are precious girls.
-Michelle's dress for the ceremony looked gorgeous on her, however, I'm not sure it would suit anyone else.
-The Inaugural Address was thoughtful and well-balanced. Hope for the future, reaffirming America's strength and our goals to be seen in a good light around the world again, cognizant of the challenges that lie ahead. Well done.

Politics - Squeeing and Grumbling

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 03:26:23 GMT

So, for the past year I've been getting emails from Hillary Clinton, and from various people who were involved in her campaign , through her website. Sometimes, I hung on to every word, other times they were little updates that I just glanced over. But I just read a new one in my inbox that really touched me, so I thought I'd put it here for anyone else who might like to see it.

This is not a goodbye, because we're all embarking on a new American journey.

With our nation moving in an exciting new direction, you and I and all Americans are going to be a key part of the change that is coming. I couldn't be more hopeful about meeting the challenges and seizing the opportunities that lie ahead.

But I want to take just one moment to look back at the incredible experiences you and I shared over the last two years. From the moment we launched our historic campaign back in January 2007, I was deeply moved by the amount of support you showed me .

We spent 17 months in a hard-fought campaign making sure that every American had a chance to make their voice heard. We made history by putting 18 million cracks in the very highest glass ceiling.

And when that campaign came to an end, we kept working and fighting, putting our hearts into making history again by helping to put Barack Obama and Joe Biden in the White House.

I'm so proud of all we accomplished, but most of all, I'm proud to call you my friend. Your devotion to making our country and our world a better place has been a constant source of inspiration to me.

In our most difficult moments, it was you who kept our efforts moving forward. In our happiest moments, you and I celebrated together. Together we walked this amazing journey one step at a time and I couldn't have done without you.

And as I take the first step on the next path in our journey, I know you'll be right there with me, as always, in my heart and by my side.

Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless America.

In other news, Barack Obama's Inaugural Committee is spending $150 + million on Tuesday's festivities - the most expensive Inauguration in history. Seriously? I'm excited about fresh Democratic change in this country, too, but that's ridiculous. Especially during a reces...uh...bagel (extra points if you catch the reference). *grumble*

Obama's Inauguration set to be most expensive in history.

Freudian Slip?

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 02:50:27 GMT

This is hilarious. But lots of people seem to be basking in the glow of Hillary as SoS. Cool.

Hillary Clinton's Confirmation Hearing - The Daily Show

Cross-posted to clinton_2008

Plane emergency lands in the Hudson River.

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 04:28:57 GMT

This is absolutely incredible. Miracles do happen, apparently through well-trained, skilled US Airways pilots.

Tonys '08!

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 04:21:26 GMT

Tony Night is a holiday for me and tonight was no exception. It's a night full of energy and squeeing; my mom pulls out the eye-rolling and her exasperated voice. I don't know why she's always so surprised. I do this every year.

The Best Leading Actress in a Musical Category was a tough one for me this year. Do I think Patti LuPone deserved to win? ABSOLUTELY! She is a Broadway LEGEND with a stunning voice that can reduce me to tears. Her performance of "Everything's Coming Up Roses" tonight was phenomenal; I was blown away. However, I'm also a HUGE fan of Kelli O'Hara. She's such a talented person with such a strong, pure voice; I believe she's the kind of actress Tonys were made for. This was the third year that she was passed over, and I was sad about that, but I'm convinced she'll have her day.

Kristin Chenoweth presented Best Featured Actress in a Musical. Hilarious! "Winning a Tony is a thrill that 'defies gravity.'" I loved how she hardly let herself finish the joke before she made fun of herself. Wow. Love her. I almost have no words. "Amazing" will do. Also, "phenomenal." I'm so glad that Laura Benanti won the category; besides being thrilled whenever someone named Laura wins a Tony, I think she's wonderful and her speech was so genuine and heartfelt.

Fellow Tony watchers and Broadway lovers, I want to hear your opinion on something. Personally, I was not a fan of ANY of the nominated musicals tonight. I was sorely disappointed. What did you think? I did, however, LOVE all of the revivals, especially South Pacific and Gypsy.

I was excited to see that Boeing-Boeing took home the Tony for Best Revival of a Play. I wish I could see it! :( Mark Rylance also nabbed Best Leading Actor in a Play. His speech cracked me up; what was THAT about? The look on Mary McCormack's face was PRICELESS! However, I am pretty devastated that Bradley Whitford (aka my boyfriend) did not present a televised award. NOOOOO!! But I did catch a couple of glimpses of him, including one awesome close-up. That will have to do, I suppose. Yeah, pretty upset.

I enjoyed the RENT tribute, although I thought it was a little rushed. Loved when everyone started to cheer as soon as Idina started speaking.

Finally, anyone seen August: Osage County? I'm intrigued.

Thoughts? Concurring or contrary opinions?

3 Angels Memorial Fund for ACD Research

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 22:06:42 GMT

Have Facebook?

Join the cause page for the 3 Angels Memorial Fund for ACD Research. Lives shouldn't end before they can start.

FF: Five Ways Josh Misses Leo

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 01:42:48 GMT

This was a little exercise for me. I needed to start writing again, but trying to jump into an epic wasn't the way to go. So, drabbles and shorter fics it shall be, for awhile at least. This is un-betaed for now; all mistakes are mine and any constructive criticism would be most appreciated. (I know my AMAAAAZING beta occasionally reads my journal anyway. :) I love you!)

FF: Five Ways Josh Misses Leo
Spoilers: From throughout the series.
POV: Donna
Disclaimer: They belong to Aaron.

She knows that Josh learned to respect people from his parents. She knows they nurtured that caring heart hiding beneath the surface of “Bartlet’s Bulldog”, and now Matt Santos’s Chief of Staff. But she also knows that he learned respect for power, absolute devotion to his cause, his candidate, his president from Leo McGarry. And it’s the little things that tell her how much Josh misses him because he’ll rarely say the words.

~ ~ ~
On Inauguration Day he moves the desk back to the way Leo had it situated for six years, and he quietly tells her that was the way it should be. She doesn’t question it, only nods quickly, squeezes his hand, and goes back to the East Wing to unpack in her own new office. The sticky note with the scribbled “WWLD” is tucked safely inside of a drawer where he can glance at it often. His suit jacket rests on a nearby chair while he works so that he can grab it quickly when the President happens to enter. And when Matt Santos doubts his ability to lead Josh holds him up with enough faith for the both of them.

~ ~ ~
He sleeps restlessly the first few months they’re in office. He rarely makes it through the night without waking up and settling down in the living room with a pile of memos in his lap. He feels a huge responsibility to the Bartlet-McGarry legacy and it’s not as easy to start over with a new team as he thought it would be. He has Sam, and her, but it’s not the same. “I was supposed to be doing this with Leo,” he had said.

She always hears him get up. Some of these nights she’ll follow him and coax him back to bed, lull him back to sleep. Some nights she lets him work through his doubts and fears alone, if she feels that’s what he needs. She’s surprised when she finds him crying openly one night, a heavy fountain pen resting in his hands.

“Leo gave this to me when I graduated from Harvard,” he whispers. “Said it was a good pen.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “That’s all he said.”

She settles in his lap and lets him cry before leading him back to the bedroom. When she wakes up next, he’s still asleep beside her.

She’s touched when he asks the President to use that pen when he signs his first bill into law. Santos smiles and gladly obliges when Josh tells him why. She’s even more touched when, six months later, he uses it to sign the ketubah at their wedding.

~ ~ ~

“Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House had a big block of cheese.”

Sam’s eyes widen, and she giggles despite herself. A resounding “What the hell” from Lou sums up the general confusion of most in the room.

Josh continues undeterred. “The block of cheese was huge, over two tons, and it was there for any and all who might be hungry.”

“Hmm, interesting,” Sam chides.

She can tell Josh is enjoying himself as he explains his objective and, almost gleefully, begins handing out assignments.

“Lou, you get Physicists for the Treatment of Barophobia.”

“Joshua, I swear to God, what the hell is barophobia?”

“It’s a fear of, well, gravity.”

“Gravity? Are they out of their minds?”

“Probably, but you’re going to meet with them. Sam, my good democrat, you’re on unusual solutions to global warming.”

“Does one of them involve UFOs,” Sam questions dryly, but takes the folder Josh slides to him.

She slips out as he continues his meeting. When she sees him later in the day his dimples and his swagger are out in full force.

She knows he misses Leo when he’s wiling to reinstate Total Crackpot Day.

~ ~ ~

It’s close to reelection time when Sam is seriously injured in a boating accident. She’s not sure if Josh can survive losing his best friend, too. He sleeps only a couple of hours at a time, joining Ainsley in her vigil by Sam’s bed with what little time he can spare from the White House. She’s barely holding their family together and she has a sinking feeling that things will get worse before they get better. She asks God how much this man, the one she loves with every fiber of her being, should have to endure. One night, when he finally stumbles into their townhouse, she places their sleeping daughter in his arms and he cradles the small child tightly while she tries to kiss away his tears.

Only when Sam recovers physically and Ainsley comes pleading for help does she realize how much Leo has been on Josh’s mind over the past few months. The narcotics are easier for Sam than the pain, and he spends most nights and some days in a daze. As they sit in Sam’s office, Ainsley crying, Sam furious, and Josh begging him to get help, Sam voices his worst fear—abandonment. She shudders as Josh begins to tell his story, her arms around his waist. She fights to keep from being carried back to that awful Christmas so many years ago, and she knows Josh wishes Leo were here now more than ever.

“I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.”

~ ~ ~

By one o’clock on January 20, 2015 he’s kneeling in front of Leo’s headstone at Arlington. He’s been through a lot over these past eight years without Leo. A year and a half ago he was forced on a six month leave after major surgery to repair the patchwork on his pulmonary artery. She did a lot of bargaining with God that year. Now she leans against the car, idly twisting her wedding ring on her finger, watching him. He places his gloved hand over the epitaph; she can see his mouth moving, but can’t hear what he’s saying. He’s always insisted he visit Leo’s grave alone over the years and now she understands why. She’s always been privy to his more vulnerable side, but even she is shocked by the loss she sees on her husband’s face. Today he’s truly saying goodbye; they move to Boston in a couple of weeks where he’s taken a position as an adjunct professor at Harvard. He rises, and she approaches slowly. He draws an old Santos-McGarry button out of his pocket (she can’t imagine where he found it) and places it atop the headstone.

Then he turns to face her. She kisses him gently and sends him to the car; this bitter cold can’t be good for him. Alone with her own memories, she kisses her fingertips and presses them to the cold granite.

“You helped make him into the man I feel in love with,” she whispers. “I never thanked you for that.”

She makes her way back to the waiting car, then glances back one last time. He isn’t the only one who’s missed Leo.

“Thanks, boss.”